Our Potential for Greatness

I stumbled across an article today titled "The Asian-American Quarter Life Crisis" that really resonated with me. It's a piece that I think every Asian-American parent & child should read, as well as anyone who may be struggling with their career due to societal pressure. Here are a few passages:

Working a job that you don’t like isn’t unique to Asian Americans, obviously — it’s a problem so common that complaining about it is cliche.  But I think this issue is especially pervasive in Asian American communities.  For one, Asian cultures tend to be risk-averse, to value knowing your place and not rocking the boat.  On top of that, our parents came to this country for the sake of financial security and stability, and they inculcated us with the same values.  Most of us have been raised to think about our futures for as long as we can remember.  It starts with math workbooks.  Gifted summer camps.  Endless SAT prep.  All for the sake of fabulous college applications, which lead us to the best universities.  The best internships.  The best (read: most lucrative, most prestigious, most stable) careers, which usually fall somewhere in the vicinity of medicine, law, engineering, and (corporate) business. 

In midst of all this striving for the best, there’s little to no attention paid to what we might actually enjoy.  That would be indulgent, if not completely unheard of.  There’s little concern in Asian cultures for personal strengths and weaknesses; there’s no such thing as someone who’s “not a math person” or “not an science person,” because excellence in any area can be attained through hard work.  There’s nothing that can’t be achieved through more repetitions or more discipline. 

...

The result of all of this: a generation of Asian Americans who are excellent at achieving but have no idea what they want to do.  (Or, if they do know, are reluctant to pursue it because it isn’t as stable or well-paid as their current jobs.)  A generation that is incredibly successful but, professionally speaking, not terribly happy.

...

I can’t help but wonder what kind of creative, innovative projects and careers Asian Americans would tackle if they weren’t confined — psychologically, financially, or culturally — to jobs they didn’t enjoy.  And how much happier and more fulfilled they might be as a result. 

I've been thinking about this issue lately. What kind of amazing things can we, as individuals, pursue if we didn't have anyone to answer to? If we decided to take more risks? If family members and friends supported one another to pursue aspirations, even if it means going against cultural norms and expectations?

I made a new friend the other day, a Chinese-American, who recently graduated with a degree in Environmental Science and Public Policy. This girl has a way of talking, of inviting you to listen. She's got a smile that makes you certain she has a million friends... yet you still want to be friend number 1,000,001.

We talked for a long time at a coffeeshop, and as we sat there on a saggy couch, sipping our too-sweet coffee shakes, she confessed what she really wants to do: I want to spend time on the island of Kalimantan, tackling deforestation problems with local NGOs. 

Please believe me when I say, these dreams are within her reach. Contrary to the notion that dreams are up in the clouds, hers are there in front of her, as many of our dreams actually are. She's come this far, and she's going to grab it. She knows what she wants to do, and she knows how to network. She already knows a few people who could help set her up.

She's also very humble.

In a fit of curiosity, and as I am wont to do among other Asian-Americans I find in SE Asia, I started interrogating her about how her family felt about her being in Indonesia. She answered almost immediately that her parents didn't support her decision, that her parents would rather have her working a more stable and lucrative job.  That she had to defy her family's desires so she could pursue her own.

I wasn't surprised, but it made me sad -- not just for her, but for her family too. We all want our parents to be happy, and it's unfortunate when choosing to take care of ourselves, emotionally and professionally, results in their disappointment.

So is she self-centered?  Is she ungrateful?  How can she be, when all she wants to do is preserve the environment we call Earth?  She's leaving her mark in a way that she does best, in a field that she feels passionately about. Maybe she'll help save some trees along the way, and if she does, I will applaud her efforts.  More rainforest in Kalimantan means more biodiversity, and not to mention, happy orangutans.

I made sure to tell her that I thought she was doing the right thing.

In my experience, it's always nice to hear that.